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历经10余年英语专业人文化教学改革,英语学院建构了丰富完善的课程体系,五大学科方向课程齐全,核心课程、实践课程近30门,专业方向课程60余门。此外,学院陆续创办英华辩论队、英华诗苑、英华演讲社、英华写作工作坊、英华口译社、英华笔译社六个学术类社团,成为学院育人体系中重要的一环。本栏目将展示英院学子在各门课程以及学术社团中的优秀习作和论文,“浩渺行无极,扬帆但信风”,英语学院愿为学子们“扬帆”,护送学子们驶向更广阔的天地。
扬帆 · 第六期
去年年底,英华笔译社为纪念鲁迅先生诞辰140周年,重译了中国第一部现代白话小说《狂人日记》。
该次活动为笔译社建社以来第一次动员全社的文学翻译活动,在社员中引起了极大的积极反响。经过一轮初译、二轮初审、指导教师三轮终审后,译文质量取得了极大的提升。
基于精益求精的原则,今年5月我们再次对之前的译文进行修改或重译,最终汇总各自翻译的部分进行组内互校,并在指导老师们的耐心修订与指导下进一步提高翻译质量,社员们收获颇丰。文末有译者的心声,接下来就让我们一起听听吧!
——英华笔译社
习作1
狂人日记
The Diary of a Madman
鲁迅
Lu Xun
十
Ten
译者:张兆宇 皮薇 杨君怡 周子萱 郁晶璟 杨紫薇
大清早,去寻我大哥;他立在堂门外看天,我便走到他背后,拦住门,格外沉静,格外和气的对他说,
I looked for my brother early in the morning. Since as he was looking at the sky in the front yard, I walked towards him from behind and stood between him and the door. I spoke with extreme calm and tenderness.
“大哥,我有话告诉你。”
“Brother, I have something to tell you.”
“你说就是,” 他赶紧回过脸来,点点头。
“Go on.” He turned around immediately, nodding his head.
“我只有几句话,可是说不出来。大哥,大约当初野蛮的人,都吃过一点人。后来因为心思不同,有的不吃人了,一味要好,便变了人,变了真的人。有的却还吃,——也同虫子一样,有的变了鱼鸟猴子,一直变到人。有的不要好,至今还是虫子。这吃人的人比不吃人的人,何等惭愧。怕比虫子的惭愧猴子,还差得很远很远。
“I only have a few, difficult words. Brother, perhaps all ancient savages used to eat human flesh. Then due to different thoughts, some stopped eating human flesh and cherished goodness—they became humans, real humans. Yet some others who continued, like reptiles, turned into fish, birds, or monkeys, and at last they turned into humans. The rest who contempt goodness remain reptiles throughout. What a shame for those who eat people, compared with those who do not! They should be much more shameful faced with those who do not, compared to reptiles faced with monkeys.”
“易牙蒸了他儿子,给桀纣吃,还是一直从前的事。谁晓得从盘古开辟天地以后,一直吃到易牙的儿子;从易牙的儿子,一直吃到徐锡林;从徐锡林,又一直吃到狼子村捉住的人。去年城里杀了犯人,还有一个生痨病的人,用馒头蘸血舐。
Everybody thinks it is an old story that Yi Ya[1] steamed his son to satisfy the tyrant in power at that time. Yet people seldom know that eating people is a tradition: after Pan Gu[2] created heaven and earth, such tradition continued till Yi Ya’s son was eaten; till Xu Xilin[3] was eaten; and till now the person caught in the Wolf Club Village was eaten. Last year, after a criminal was executed, I heard that a consumptive dipped steamed bun in his blood and ate it.
“他们要吃我,你一个人,原也无法可想;然而又何必去入伙。吃人的人,什么事做不 出;他们会吃我,也会吃你,一伙里面,也会自吃。但只要转一步,只要立刻改了,也就是人人太平。虽然从来如此,我们今天也可以格外要好,说是不能!大哥,我相信你能说,前天佃户要减租,你说过不能。”
“They want to eat me, and you alone have no way to change that; but why join their conspiracy? Those people who eat human flesh are incapable of nothing; if they eat me, they will also eat you, and even eat each other one day. However, if you withdraw from them, if you change at once, everyone will be safe and sound. Though we have long lived in peace, we can pursue an even better future. Say no to eat human flesh! My dear brother, I know you can do it. The day before yesterday, the tenant asked for a lower rent, and you said no.”
当初,他还只是冷笑,随后眼光便凶狠起来,一到说破他们的隐情,那就满脸都变成青色了。大门外立着一伙人,赵贵翁和他的狗,也在里面,都探头探脑的挨进来。有的是看不出面貌,似乎用布蒙着;有的是仍旧青面獠牙,抿着嘴笑。我认识他们是一伙,都是吃人的人。可是也晓得他们心思很不一样,一种是以为从来如此,应该吃的;一种是知道不该吃,可是仍然要吃,又怕别人说破他,所以听了我的话,越发气愤不过,可是抿着嘴冷笑。
At first, all he did was sneering. But shortly afterwards his gaze became fierce and his face shone with a savage gleam when I exposed their scheme. Outside the door stood a group of people, all craning their necks to peer. Zhao Guiweng and his dog were also there. Some seemed to be covered with cloth so I could not see their faces; some looked devilish with a smothered grin. I know this crowd. They all eat people. But I also know that they hold different thoughts about eating people. Some think they should do so since it has been a tradition for centuries. Others recognize that it is wrong to eat people. But they still keep doing it while fearing to be exposed. That’s why my brother felt furious by my remarks, tight-lipped with a frozen smile.
[1] Yi Ya was a famous chef in the Spring and Autumn Period (770-476 BC). As the ruler of Qi mentioned that he wanted to eat human flesh, he killed his four-year-old son and made it into a dish for him.
[2] Pan Gu is the creation god in Chinese mythology and legend, and the oldest god in Chinese mythology system.
[3] 35-year-old Xu Xilin, a revolutionist, was killed by the Qing Court in front of the Anqing Hospital on July 7, 1907, with his heart and liver dug out and used for cooking.
译者:由晨霓 陶柯颖 刘丹琳 田珂源 李一凡 王玉
这时候,大哥也忽然显出凶相,高声喝道,
My brother suddenly showed a fierce look, roaring ferociously,
“都出去!疯子有什么好看!”
“Clear off, all of you! What's the point of looking at a madman?”
这时候,我又懂得一件他们的巧妙了。他们岂但不肯改,而且早已布置;预备下一个疯子的名目罩上我。将来吃了,不但太平无事,怕还会有人见情。佃户说的大家吃了一个恶人,正是这方法。这是他们的老谱!
At this moment, I came to realize this was another of their tricks. Not only were they unwilling to change their stand, they had also planned it all out; they had decided to label me as a madman. So, even if I were to be eaten by them someday, they would get no punishment but sympathy. The tenant’s words about eating a bad man were exactly of the same ruse. A trick repeatedly tested and practiced!
陈老五也气愤愤的直走进来。如何按得住我的口,我偏要对这伙人说,
Old Chen, in great anger, came in through the gate as well. How could they shut me up? I am not done speaking to the crowd yet,
“你们可以改了,从真心改起!要晓得将来容不得吃人的人,活在世上。
“Time for you to change, from the bottom of your hearts! You shall bear in mind that in the future there will be no place in the world for human-eaters.
“你们要不改,自己也会吃尽。即使生得多,也会给真的人除灭了,同猎人打完狼子一 样!——同虫子一样!”
“If you refuse to change, you yourselves will also be eaten up one day. No matter how many children you have, they will all be eliminated by real humans, killed up by hunters like wolf cubs—like reptiles!”
那一伙人,都被陈老五赶走了。大哥也不知那里去了。陈老五劝我回屋子里去。
The crowd were driven away by Old Chen. My brother also disappeared. Chen persuaded me to go back to the room.
屋里面全是黑沉沉的。横梁和椽子都在头上发抖;抖了一会,就大起来,堆在我身上万分沉重,动弹不得;他的意思是要我死。我晓得他的沉重是假的,便挣扎出来,出了一身汗。可是偏要说,
Darkness swallowed up my room. Beams and rafters were shaking above my head; after shaking for a while, they became larger, and piled down on me. Under the heavy weight, I couldn’t move. They meant to let me die. I knew the weight was not real, so I struggled through my illusion, in a sweat. But I had to say it anyway,
“你们立刻改了,从真心改起!你们要晓得将来是容不得吃人的人,……”
“Change at once, from the bottom of your hearts! You shall bear in mind that in the future there will be no place for human-eaters...”
习作2
十一
Eleven
译者:由晨霓 陶柯颖 刘丹琳 田珂源 李一凡 王玉
太阳也不出,门也不开,日日是两顿饭。
There is no sunshine, and the door is never unlocked. Two meals, day after day.
我捏起筷子,便想起我大哥;晓得妹子死掉的缘故,也全在他。那时我妹子才五岁,可爱可怜的样子,还在眼前。母亲哭个不住,他却劝母亲不要哭;大约因为自己吃了,哭起来不免有点过意不去。如果还能过意不去,……
Each time I pick up the chopsticks I will instantly think of my brother. I know my sister died entirely because of him. She was only five back then. I can still remember how vulnerable and lovable she was. My mother couldn’t hold back her sobs, but my brother begged her not to cry. He had probably eaten her himself, and all the crying was making him a bit uncomfortable. If only he could still feel uncomfortable...
妹子是被大哥吃了,母亲知道没有,我可不得而知。
My little sister was eaten by my brother. I wonder if mother knew.
母亲想也知道;不过哭的时候,却并没有说明,大约也以为应当的了。记得我四五岁时,坐在堂前乘凉,大哥说爷娘生病,做儿子的须割下一片肉来,煮熟了请他吃,才算好人;母亲也没有说不行。一片吃得,整个的自然也吃得。但是那天的哭法,现在想起来,实在还教人伤心,这真是奇极的事!
Mother must have known, but when she was weeping she didn’t say it outright. Maybe she also took it for granted. I remember enjoying the cool in the yard when I was four or five years old, my brother said when one’s parents were ill, the son should cut off a slice of his flesh, cook it, and offer it to the sick parents, if he wanted to be regarded as a filial son. Mother didn’t contradict him back then. If a slice could be eaten, what would be wrong to eat a whole person? In retrospect, her way of crying that day still makes me heartbroken. How inconsistent people can turn out to be!
习作3
十二
Twelve
译者:于敏 倪亦淇 肖冬连 陈诗凡 李如阳 周雨虹
不能想了。
Further thought would be too painful.
四千年来时时吃人的地方,今天才明白,我也在其中混了多年;大哥正管着家务,妹子恰恰死了,他未必不和在饭菜里,暗暗给我们吃。
My nation has been eating humans for four thousand years. Now I realize that I have spent my whole life living in this country. My sister passed away when my brother was in charge of the household. It is not impossible that he could have mixed her flesh into meals and thus, secretly making us eat humans as well.
我未必无意之中,不吃了我妹子的几片肉,现在也轮到我自己,……
I might have had some of my sister’s flesh without knowing it. Now it’s my turn to be a victim…
有了四千年吃人履历的我,当初虽然不知道,现在明白,难见真的人!
Not until now have I realized that I am not immune to the four-thousand-year practice of human-eating, and it’s impossible for me to face (面对) real humans any more![1]
[1] Real humans: Real humans refer to those who are independent from the rigid and prevailing Chinese feudal ethics and the downside of the old practices.
习作4
十三
Thirteen
译者:由晨霓 陶柯颖 刘丹琳 田珂源 李一凡 王玉
没有吃过人的孩子,或者还有?
Maybe there are still children who have not yet eaten human flesh?
救救孩子……
Save the children...
一九一八年四月。
April, 1918.
社员 · 心得
刘丹琳:《狂人日记》是现代白话小说的开山之作,初译时尚未完全理解文意,拙误层出,在聆听了曹思宇老师关于译稿的点评与提示之后,才对翻译的技法有了一些思考。在进行重译的时候特别注意了曹老师提到的标点符号的问题,更深刻地研读文本之后也有了新的体会。翻译是一个需要不断修改以臻完美的过程,此次重译让我收获颇丰。
杨君怡:通过这一次的重译,我再一次感受到翻译过程中“推敲”和“琢磨”的魅力,也体会到了每一篇精美的译文背后的努力。在曹思宇老师逐字逐句的细心讲解下,我深刻理解了细节的重要性,许多初译时我没能注意到的细节,都会成为译文的减分项。翻译过程中,时代背景、人物关系、语境背景等等都会影响到单词和句式的选用。总而言之,这一次的重译让我受益良多,非常感谢曹老师给我们带来的这次讲座,我也会在今后的翻译过程中更加注重细节的打磨,提高译文的质量。
英华笔译社致力于帮助社员提升翻译能力、在实战中积累翻译经验。组内互校、老师的耐心指导为译文质量保驾护航。社员们在逐句翻译中锤炼文字,在研读修订稿中进行二次思考,在修改重译中打磨译文。在此次重译中,我们深刻认识到“保质保量保规范”的重要性。希望大家在交流反思中共同进步,一起探索翻译之道!
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